Before my next post, I want to make sure that everyone understands that God speaks to us in a multitude of ways. It can be through His word, through prayer, the Holy Spirit, and sometimes our own circumstances. Just because this is how He chose to interact with me, doesn't mean that He will do the same with you.
There are things that have happened between me and God. Things that I have been waiting to tell my kids. One of those things happened shortly after I started searching for God's heart. I had since decided that I was sure God was there, just that he wasn't listening to me. Or maybe I wasn't listening to Him. That day as I was sitting in church, I had finally had it. I'm not even sure what Pastor was preaching about (sorry Pastor Paul) because I was angry and I was just yelling at God in my head.
I decided to demand He let me know He was there. I want a sign, and not just any sign. No, I need to know that it's actually God, so it has to be something specific. Not just something that may be a coincidence that could be considered a sign. Something I came up with, so there was no mistake. He answered Gideon when it was weirdly specific, so why not me?
Now just like every other church, we have a stage, set up with things like a podium, props, and instruments. Of those instruments there is a set of nice shiny drums. (I'd like to take a minute to apologize to whoever owns those drums, for what I prayed for.) I stared a hole into those drums, and I knew exactly the sign I wanted. The words I said to God sounded a little like this: "God, I want you to give me a sign that you're listening to me, by malfunctioning the drums. I don't know how you're going to do it, but you're God, so I know you can."
I waited all service. I stared at those drums the entire rest of the hour. I remember staring specifically at the pedal, thinking I don't know how you would make drums stop working, but I imagined it would have to be something with the pedal. Maybe He'd want to make sure I really got the message and send the whole thing tipping over and one to just roll off stage. Now, if you go to our church, you will remember that no such thing happened. No one went around telling the crazy story about how the drums just somehow incinerated into a heap on the stage. Nothing happened. Nothing at all. You can imagine how I felt when I left church that morning. I kept looking back before I left the sanctuary. I thought yep, that settles it. He isn't listening to me. I just asked for some drums to malfunction. I didn't ask for a burning bush, or the sea to part. I asked for something that should be fairly simple for God to do. Maybe He was annoyed that I asked for a sign. I mean, I did tell God what to do. I did try to make Him show me a trick. Whatever the reason, I left without a sign. I went home feeling completely defeated.
About thirty minutes after being home, I was sitting on the couch, when Kaden comes flying out of his room and down the hall. He comes up to me and shoves a blue thing onto my lap. I recognize it at once. It's his little electric drums. He's having a fit of course. "Mom my drums just quit working! I don't know what's wrong with them! They just stopped!" I just looked down at this silly toy, and laughed. You have got to be kidding me.
To this day I don't know what happened to make those drums stop working, but I definitely know who made them stop working. God took the opportunity in my brokenness, to not only show me that He was there, but He also showed me that He has a sense of humor. And that turned the page on another belief I had of God that was shattered. He's not this angry mean man in the sky, as some people think. There are many facets to Him, and He wants to show us. He wants us to know His grace, His mercy, His love, and yes, his sense of humor.
There are things that have happened between me and God. Things that I have been waiting to tell my kids. One of those things happened shortly after I started searching for God's heart. I had since decided that I was sure God was there, just that he wasn't listening to me. Or maybe I wasn't listening to Him. That day as I was sitting in church, I had finally had it. I'm not even sure what Pastor was preaching about (sorry Pastor Paul) because I was angry and I was just yelling at God in my head.
I decided to demand He let me know He was there. I want a sign, and not just any sign. No, I need to know that it's actually God, so it has to be something specific. Not just something that may be a coincidence that could be considered a sign. Something I came up with, so there was no mistake. He answered Gideon when it was weirdly specific, so why not me?
Now just like every other church, we have a stage, set up with things like a podium, props, and instruments. Of those instruments there is a set of nice shiny drums. (I'd like to take a minute to apologize to whoever owns those drums, for what I prayed for.) I stared a hole into those drums, and I knew exactly the sign I wanted. The words I said to God sounded a little like this: "God, I want you to give me a sign that you're listening to me, by malfunctioning the drums. I don't know how you're going to do it, but you're God, so I know you can."
I waited all service. I stared at those drums the entire rest of the hour. I remember staring specifically at the pedal, thinking I don't know how you would make drums stop working, but I imagined it would have to be something with the pedal. Maybe He'd want to make sure I really got the message and send the whole thing tipping over and one to just roll off stage. Now, if you go to our church, you will remember that no such thing happened. No one went around telling the crazy story about how the drums just somehow incinerated into a heap on the stage. Nothing happened. Nothing at all. You can imagine how I felt when I left church that morning. I kept looking back before I left the sanctuary. I thought yep, that settles it. He isn't listening to me. I just asked for some drums to malfunction. I didn't ask for a burning bush, or the sea to part. I asked for something that should be fairly simple for God to do. Maybe He was annoyed that I asked for a sign. I mean, I did tell God what to do. I did try to make Him show me a trick. Whatever the reason, I left without a sign. I went home feeling completely defeated.
About thirty minutes after being home, I was sitting on the couch, when Kaden comes flying out of his room and down the hall. He comes up to me and shoves a blue thing onto my lap. I recognize it at once. It's his little electric drums. He's having a fit of course. "Mom my drums just quit working! I don't know what's wrong with them! They just stopped!" I just looked down at this silly toy, and laughed. You have got to be kidding me.
To this day I don't know what happened to make those drums stop working, but I definitely know who made them stop working. God took the opportunity in my brokenness, to not only show me that He was there, but He also showed me that He has a sense of humor. And that turned the page on another belief I had of God that was shattered. He's not this angry mean man in the sky, as some people think. There are many facets to Him, and He wants to show us. He wants us to know His grace, His mercy, His love, and yes, his sense of humor.
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