Skip to main content

This little light of mine

I'm not sure how to start a blog, as I've never even read one, so I suppose I will wing it. This blog is to serve two purposes. The first, is I want a place where I can talk about all that God has done in my life. The way He changes me and my perspective. The second, is a little morbid haha. If and when I'm gone, I want a place my kids can go to read about what God has done in my life. That maybe it will give them strength to follow, and hope to persevere, knowing God is everything. With that said,
Tahcowa, Kaden, and Arilyn- I hope that you know how much you are loved. That I always had great intentions, just sometimes lacked follow through. I hope that when you guys are older and read mommy's blog, you will see the love that I have for the Lord, and find Him to be the most important thing in your life as well. All I ever wanted as a mother, was to get you three to the foot of the cross. That's where real love is, and I'd give everything for you to see that. I love you guys.
Love Mom

My real journey began a few years ago. You see, I grew up "Christian," I went to church a few times on a regular basis. I knew about God, I just didn't KNOW Him. And then my high school sweetheart died. Now this is a person who I hadn't been around in many years, but I still adored him as a person. His death rocked my entire world, and shook my faith if I'm being honest. It made me finally look up. Finally wonder who in the world this God figure was. Who did He think He was, messing up my perfect image of everything. It took me awhile actually to start really searching Him out. I didn't want anything good to come from this tragedy. That was my protest against God. I blamed Him for it. I figured out later that He just turns tragedy into testimony, He isn't tearing us down.  We do that to ourselves. He's just building us back up. Once I started looking for Him, reading about Him, praying to Him, I was shocked! The King of the World loves little broken me. Loves me enough to meet me where I am, and lead me to His open arms. He's been changing me since that day. I will never forget it. I'd be lying if I said it doesn't hurt to think about my old friend. But how fitting for me to give my testimony on his birthday. Considering he is the one who led me to discover God, the true God, not the genie I thought He was. So happy birthday Trevor, you impacted every person you met. 💜
God has changed so much in my life, and in my heart. I still have a long way to go, and that's okay. Jesus still has a lot of work to do in me, and that's the point of this blog to me. To share as he works in me. Because this little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Happily Ever After

              I remember the day we got married. I was beautiful, dressed in white. My gorgeous groom standing at the end of the aisle. Our forever waiting on the other side of 'I Do'. I didn't even hesitate. I was never more sure of anything in my life. This man was for me. Fairy tales don't always have a happy ending. I blinked. I'm in a courtroom with that same man, before a magistrate. The best thing we ever did, standing between us, tiny hands tucked into ours, as we dissolve our family.  I regret more than anything that I didn't think ahead and get a sitter. Instead, I let my daughter witness the destruction I was trying to protect her from. I waited until I was alone, then I cried for my daughter. For the consequences my choices would have on her life. For how my decision would shape her as a person. For the family I ripped from her.              Divorce is heavy. It affects my children, my witness, my family and friends. It even affects my relationship
Post a Comment
Read more

Angel of Death

I have never wanted to be a nurse. My mother is a nurse and she put me up to it. I had a son and had no idea how to take care of him, and nursing would pay the bills. That's the honest beginning of my nursing career. I've been a nurse for over a decade now, and have worked many places. I once worked for a nursing home that had about 50 residents. There was a stretch there where every patient that passed away, did it on my shift. I got the nickname angel of death. I used to get offended when called that because no one wants to be associated with death. Ironically enough, I've been a hospice nurse for the last 7 years. For those of you who don't know, hospice simply means end of life care. I have listened to a heart, beat its last beat. I have held a persons hand while they took their last breath. I have read scripture to a preachers son as he went into the arms of Jesus. I have had the honor of being there for patients and families as they struggle to say goodbye to th
2 comments
Read more

The Opposite of More

I was listening to a program that had the author of 'The Shack' speaking. He was talking about losing everything he owned and starting over. He said something that I wrote down because I thought it was  significant. He said 'the opposite of more, isn't less. The opposite of more, is enough'. I can admit that I struggle with that in my life. We live in a world where we are constantly told that we are less than, if we don't have everything other people have. We concentrate more on others' blessings, than our own. We scroll tirelessly on social media sites, envious of each other's houses, clothes, parenting, hair, personalities, talents, etc. We set up our own perfect pictures, removing any clutter from the photo, and instead, staging what looks to be an intimate hallmark moment. Then we filter it obsessively until it no longer even resembles real life. We make our children get in on the action too. Inadvertently teaching them that the way the world sees
Post a Comment
Read more