Recently I have felt stuck in my faith. Not that I haven't been growing, but I have been stuck in the "in between." I have been seeing so much of what seems to be contradictions in the bible. Easy examples of this, are all God and all man, freedom and servitude, truth and grace. What God has been showing me, is that they aren't contradictions at all. That word "and" joins them. They go together. Then I really started asking Him, how can I live in the "and"?
You see, my whole life, I've been about the truth. Yes God gives me grace, but I don't give it to others, because I didn't know how to give grace and truth. I was about the rules. I wanted to be in the "and," I just didn't know how to reconcile both in my head. They will know us by our love, but they know us by our rules. I'm a christian guilty of keeping people from Christ.
I have always been about following the rules. If you do this, stay away from that, God will love you and let you into heaven. I can guilt trip just about anyone to the alter, but I thought if I convinced them to change on the outside, they would also change on the inside. I had somehow let myself become a pharisee. And that's not so easy to get over. I would help a homeless person on the street. I have, many times. They are the "least of these." Don't ask me to help someone who has been in and out of jail because they have a drug problem. They did that to themselves. I'm ashamed of ever thinking that now. Here's the thing, I thought that since I'm going to church, I'm praising God, I'm reading my bible, having small group, and all the things that make me a good "christian," I could look down on people. Tell them how to be like me, which rules to keep. Because I thought there were good people and there were bad people. Recently God showed me that we're all bad people in need of grace. Romans 3:23 says "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." That includes me. I'm a sinner in great need of a savior. Jesus attracted people because of his mercy and grace. Because of his love, when it wasn't deserved. If I want to be like Jesus, I need to learn grace. I need to learn love, agape love. Not getting caught up on whether they deserve it.
What I have learned is that obedience is a response to salvation, not a way to earn it. I've learned that you don't have to change to open your bible, opening your bible will change you. I've learned that there is complete freedom when you finally accept that you don't deserve the love of Jesus, that you never will, but that He loves you anyway. I've learned that the easiest way to spread the gospel, is to spread the grace. I've learned that I can interact and hear God every single day by reading his word, and actually listening for what He's saying, not what I'm wanting to hear. I've learned His voice is booming. And His love is consuming. He doesn't just accept me, He delights in me. I am beloved. I finally learned I am saved by grace alone, through faith alone, in Christ alone. And I have finally realized that's how others are saved too. Not by following rules that I so methodically thump them over the head with.
Once again I wasn't sure about posting this entry. I wait for God to send me a confirmation, He did that this morning before church. And I want to say that I was listening today when Kim was talking about God loving us. About how salvation isn't earned. He gives it freely. That's true, but sometimes we hear that so much that we get desensitized to it. I think it's can be the same for the people outside the church. They hear Jesus loves them, that they don't earn it. We explain it in a million different ways, but the way it finally breaks through, is them feeling God's love through us.
It's been a journey with God for me. Finding the "and" in truth and grace. I needed that in between. It's love. The way to give truth and show grace is love.
You see, my whole life, I've been about the truth. Yes God gives me grace, but I don't give it to others, because I didn't know how to give grace and truth. I was about the rules. I wanted to be in the "and," I just didn't know how to reconcile both in my head. They will know us by our love, but they know us by our rules. I'm a christian guilty of keeping people from Christ.
I have always been about following the rules. If you do this, stay away from that, God will love you and let you into heaven. I can guilt trip just about anyone to the alter, but I thought if I convinced them to change on the outside, they would also change on the inside. I had somehow let myself become a pharisee. And that's not so easy to get over. I would help a homeless person on the street. I have, many times. They are the "least of these." Don't ask me to help someone who has been in and out of jail because they have a drug problem. They did that to themselves. I'm ashamed of ever thinking that now. Here's the thing, I thought that since I'm going to church, I'm praising God, I'm reading my bible, having small group, and all the things that make me a good "christian," I could look down on people. Tell them how to be like me, which rules to keep. Because I thought there were good people and there were bad people. Recently God showed me that we're all bad people in need of grace. Romans 3:23 says "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." That includes me. I'm a sinner in great need of a savior. Jesus attracted people because of his mercy and grace. Because of his love, when it wasn't deserved. If I want to be like Jesus, I need to learn grace. I need to learn love, agape love. Not getting caught up on whether they deserve it.
What I have learned is that obedience is a response to salvation, not a way to earn it. I've learned that you don't have to change to open your bible, opening your bible will change you. I've learned that there is complete freedom when you finally accept that you don't deserve the love of Jesus, that you never will, but that He loves you anyway. I've learned that the easiest way to spread the gospel, is to spread the grace. I've learned that I can interact and hear God every single day by reading his word, and actually listening for what He's saying, not what I'm wanting to hear. I've learned His voice is booming. And His love is consuming. He doesn't just accept me, He delights in me. I am beloved. I finally learned I am saved by grace alone, through faith alone, in Christ alone. And I have finally realized that's how others are saved too. Not by following rules that I so methodically thump them over the head with.
Once again I wasn't sure about posting this entry. I wait for God to send me a confirmation, He did that this morning before church. And I want to say that I was listening today when Kim was talking about God loving us. About how salvation isn't earned. He gives it freely. That's true, but sometimes we hear that so much that we get desensitized to it. I think it's can be the same for the people outside the church. They hear Jesus loves them, that they don't earn it. We explain it in a million different ways, but the way it finally breaks through, is them feeling God's love through us.
It's been a journey with God for me. Finding the "and" in truth and grace. I needed that in between. It's love. The way to give truth and show grace is love.
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