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psalm 9:1

There are a number of different reasons people decide to go to church, or go back to church. As many of you know, I had someone who once was very significant in my life, pass away. When that happened, I wanted to know who  God was. God used that to deepen my relationship with Him, but I was already through the doors, and in the pew. About a week before I starting going to church, my youngest son proclaimed that he didn't believe in God. He actually said that God isn't real.
If you're a mother, take a minute to feel that. Imagine your child, approximately four years of age, looking you straight in the eyes, and telling you that the one who created him, doesn't exist.
A panic set in my chest. What was I doing? I was just going through the motions of life, and I didn't teach him the most important thing. The meaning of it all. That the only thing that matters at the end of your life, is what you did with Jesus. My son can't do something with someone he doesn't even know. As a mother, my one goal, is to get my kids to the foot of the cross. Here I was, just idling while they were growing up on me.
It was the next week when I walked into a church again. I had gone to church on and off. I church hopped a lot. I told myself and others that I just wasn't feeling it at any of these churches. Now I see how silly that was, but then I really thought I needed the best nursery, worship team, right amount of people. I didn't see that I needed Jesus as much as my depraved son.
When we started going to church regularly, all of our lives changed. I rediscovered Jesus, and my kids got to know Him. What a difference it has been. My sweet Kaden, who didn't believe in God, was now writing "God's not dead" on everything. Tahcowa got baptized. We dedicated all three kids to God. I became a member of the congregation.
Just recently I bought something called a Thankful Tree. I believe it was about three dollars, but it quickly became priceless. I explained the idea to the kids. We can write our names, and what we are thankful for on these leaves. Then we put them on the tree. I equipped each kid (except my darling Arilyn) with a leaf and a marker. Nothing could prepare me for what Kaden put on his first leaf. Under his name, what he was thankful for, was God.
The panic in my chest has subsided since then. I'm always sure I'm doing this mothering thing all wrong. I'm not doing enough. I'm not teaching them enough. And then moments like that happen. I think there's nothing I can do. Except desperately love Jesus.
I'm so glad that it's never too late. That no matter where we are, we are in His love. Kaden just turned seven. In just three years, his destination changed. God holds Kaden in His hands, and now Kaden holds God in his heart. And that's grace to a mother's soul.

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