Today my firstborn turns 13. I can't even believe I'm the mom of a teenager. Yesterday I was a teenager. Then I blinked and here we are. All my parents out there know that your first kid is mostly trial and error. They get the worst version of you because you don't know what you're doing. When I had Tahcowa, I was 20 years old. Barely a grown up. Barely taking care of myself. When Cowa was 2 months old, I started nursing school.
I can remember me and Tahcowa in our apartment getting ready for bed. He was 8 months old. I carried him upstairs and passed by the mirror on my closet door. I stopped and looked in it. Tahcowa was always a big kid so even that young, he filled my arms and was heavy. I remember thinking that we may have been a broken family, but we were still a family.
Tahcowa didn't speak until he was 3. He was diagnosed with mixed expressive and receptive language delay. Which means he couldn't understand sometimes what you were saying to him, and he had a difficult times conveying what he wanted to say to you. He started school at age 3, and it took a lot of work during this time. He didn't say a full sentence until he was 4 years old.
Later on we moved into another apartment and I started dating Kaden's dad. I won't go into the story because it's not really relevant, but that relationship didn't work out. It left my broken family a little bigger. We had another little boy in tow. Then I met Brandon and we got married and had Arilyn.
As much as I hate for people to know my story because of the light in paints me in, it's important for me to tell Tahcowa's beginning, for the light in paints him in.
Tahcowa went through this entire journey with me. He watched as I tried the best I could, and fell short a million times. Cowa has the most reasons to be damaged. But oh what a God we have.
When God created this boy I love, He gave him the biggest heart. He instilled in my boy a gentle kindness. Tahcowa has incredible character.
None of this was my doing. God gave me this wonder of a child in spite of the things I was doing to screw him up. Just last week he told me that someone drew something inappropriate in the boy's bathroom. Not only did he go tell the office secretary, he blocked the door from anyone going in while it was being cleaned up. He never thought twice about telling someone. How many boys would do that? This is the same boy that let his brother wear his birthday pin because Kaden was crying and Tahcowa didn't want him to be sad. When he was 6 a kid was being mean to him. I was being funny and said I was going to beat the kid up for being mean to my baby. Of course he told me I couldn't beat up a kid. "Fine! I will beat his mama up!" No, he told me. What if that kid didn't have a dad and I beat his mama up, then he wouldn't have any parents. Talk about breaking your heart and touching it at the same time. Now this is where his diagnosis came into play. He didn't understand that I was being funny, or that beating someone up wouldn't kill them. He was just thinking about this boy having no parents. The same boy that was picking on him.
I've never met someone with a heart like his. It truly is from God.
Sometimes I think about how fast Tahcowa is growing up, and I panic at the thought that I didn't teach him everything I wanted to, before he is on his own. Then it dawns on me. He's not on his own. God is with him, and God has already done more for that boy than I ever could.
Happy 13th birthday Tahcowa Shayne. The day you were born, my black and white world, burst into color. You made me a mom. I am so proud of the young man you are turning into. I love you bug. More than all the stars in the sky.
I can remember me and Tahcowa in our apartment getting ready for bed. He was 8 months old. I carried him upstairs and passed by the mirror on my closet door. I stopped and looked in it. Tahcowa was always a big kid so even that young, he filled my arms and was heavy. I remember thinking that we may have been a broken family, but we were still a family.
Tahcowa didn't speak until he was 3. He was diagnosed with mixed expressive and receptive language delay. Which means he couldn't understand sometimes what you were saying to him, and he had a difficult times conveying what he wanted to say to you. He started school at age 3, and it took a lot of work during this time. He didn't say a full sentence until he was 4 years old.
Later on we moved into another apartment and I started dating Kaden's dad. I won't go into the story because it's not really relevant, but that relationship didn't work out. It left my broken family a little bigger. We had another little boy in tow. Then I met Brandon and we got married and had Arilyn.
As much as I hate for people to know my story because of the light in paints me in, it's important for me to tell Tahcowa's beginning, for the light in paints him in.
Tahcowa went through this entire journey with me. He watched as I tried the best I could, and fell short a million times. Cowa has the most reasons to be damaged. But oh what a God we have.
When God created this boy I love, He gave him the biggest heart. He instilled in my boy a gentle kindness. Tahcowa has incredible character.
None of this was my doing. God gave me this wonder of a child in spite of the things I was doing to screw him up. Just last week he told me that someone drew something inappropriate in the boy's bathroom. Not only did he go tell the office secretary, he blocked the door from anyone going in while it was being cleaned up. He never thought twice about telling someone. How many boys would do that? This is the same boy that let his brother wear his birthday pin because Kaden was crying and Tahcowa didn't want him to be sad. When he was 6 a kid was being mean to him. I was being funny and said I was going to beat the kid up for being mean to my baby. Of course he told me I couldn't beat up a kid. "Fine! I will beat his mama up!" No, he told me. What if that kid didn't have a dad and I beat his mama up, then he wouldn't have any parents. Talk about breaking your heart and touching it at the same time. Now this is where his diagnosis came into play. He didn't understand that I was being funny, or that beating someone up wouldn't kill them. He was just thinking about this boy having no parents. The same boy that was picking on him.
I've never met someone with a heart like his. It truly is from God.
Sometimes I think about how fast Tahcowa is growing up, and I panic at the thought that I didn't teach him everything I wanted to, before he is on his own. Then it dawns on me. He's not on his own. God is with him, and God has already done more for that boy than I ever could.
Happy 13th birthday Tahcowa Shayne. The day you were born, my black and white world, burst into color. You made me a mom. I am so proud of the young man you are turning into. I love you bug. More than all the stars in the sky.
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