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week 12


Can I be honest for a minute? I haven't written in my blog in over a month. I got distracted by the empty promises of the world. It happens. I kept trying to think of a subject for my next post. I was going to write it as if the drifting didn't happen. As it were, God doesn't share my ideas of sweeping mistakes under the rug and pretending they don't exist.
I was part of a group that was reading the Bible in a year. I also had a small group. Both of these things fell apart around the same time. The two other people that were reading through the bible with me, got distracted. There went my accountability. I was stopped at week 12 for more than a month. I had no one to keep me on track, except God, who should have been the only one that mattered. The other members of my small group kept cancelling on me. They had other stuff going on with their lives, and just didn't have the time to commit anymore. Or lost interest.
I started a new business with young living essential oils. I am the type to really go after something, and it turns out business is no different. I put all my energy into this endeavor.
I still went to church. I'm not sure anyone, aside from my mama, could tell that I wasn't reading my bible or even praying regularly. Funny thing happens when you start drifting away from God. You start losing your hope. Fear really sets in. I started to stay awake late at night thinking about death. About all the things that could happen to my children. All the things I had no control of. I started getting nervous about even getting into cars. Strange fear I know, but when you really think about it, a lot of people die in car accidents.
How long can someone live in this state of drifting? I realize now that you can drift yourself straight into Hell. Doesn't sound nice, but that doesn't make it any less true.
Thankfully for me, that's not what happened. I went to a Crowder concert. My brother came with me. He had never been to a Christian concert. The love and pure adoration for God is almost palpable at those events. It's indescribable. Crowder was incredible just for your information. They sang their song "All my Hope." The lyric is 'All my hope is in Jesus'. That's it. Fear is a liar! Jesus is my hope. I needed to find my way back to Him.
Do you have any idea how hard that is? How much work was involved in coming back to God? That's right, none. All I ever had to do was call on Him. He was waiting for me the whole entire time. I wrapped myself in His love and gave my heart to Him all over again.
'With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments.' Psalm 119:10.
I'm no longer stuck in my fear. I'm no longer stuck in the endless drift. I'm no longer stuck in week 12. For when I focus on the cross, the jewels of the world lose their luster. All my hope is in Jesus. Thank God that yesterday's gone.

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