Jessi's Faith Journey

Too often people think that Christians think they're perfect. We don't. We know we fail. On a daily basis. We are not better, we  have   something better. You see because we are Christians, we have the hope of the cross. That doesn't make us less human. Most days I wish it did. We are called to be separate from the world, but sometimes we fall into the same pitfalls as anyone else. When we step back and look at the culture, we are actually taught to react without thinking. Take facebook for example. We react with likes or love, sometimes even anger or surprise. We react quickly. We can comment and give our opinion in about ten seconds. We are taught to react to each other and then keep on scrolling. Most times we don't even think about how we reacted. We are conditioned to let people know how we feel about what they think. This is now the age we live in. The age of reaction. I have been watching Andy Griffith a lot with my family lately. I love the show. ...

God gave me something this morning in my bible reading. Something I have pondered for a long time. My reading plan has me in Proverbs right now, and I came to Proverbs 16:4 which says 'The Lord has made all for Himself, Yes, even the wicked for the day of doom'. Let me say that I have a bible with no commentary. I like to read without distraction, so that the Lord can speak to me with His words. Let me also say that I have a number of bibles with commentary in case I don't understand something, I can look and see what scripture means. Proverbs 16:4 was very interesting to me so I got out my MacArthur study bible to see what John had to say about the verse. John MacArthur is incredibly knowledgeable, so if you don't have that study bible, get it. In the commentary it says that the wicked will bring glory to God and referred me to Romans 9:17-23. You can read this for yourself to better understand what I will say next. Verse 18 stuck out to me here because it says 'w...

I hope someday that this blog is read by my children, and I do try to keep them in mind when I write them. I want them to know all that God is teaching me. I think sometimes when we write important stuff, we surround a point with a bunch of useless words. This was put on my heart and I'm going to keep this one simple. Love is a choice. Hate is a choice. Joy is a choice. Anger is a choice. What you choose, is what you will become. Choose love. Choose joy. Over and over again. Choose Jesus. Over and over again.

To tell this story, I would need to back up to Christmas 2017. I was still going to my previous church then, and had really felt God pulling me to help out with Angel Tree. Angel tree was an outreach that helped kids get gifts for Christmas. This program didn't need me at all. They had plenty of volunteers. Nonetheless I felt God pushing me to ask. I reached out to the coordinator and asked to be involved with all of it. She gave me some lists with names and I made some calls. I remember talking to a woman who told me all about her brother's story. See it was her nephew that was to receive a gift. It could have been my brother's story. It really touched my heart. I thought God must have wanted me to see the need in a new way. I reached out to the coordinator and let her know I really wanted to do every part of the angel tree. I won't go into details except to say that I didn't get to be a part of anything else that involved angel tree because I didn't live clos...

It's Christmas time again. Christmas is my favorite time of year. We celebrate the coming of our King and savior, Jesus Christ. We spend time with all of our family together, we bake things, sing songs, do advent, and the list goes on. One of my favorite things to do with my family around Christmas, is watch Christmas movies. Of course, my favorite Christmas movie is 'It's a Wonderful Life.' It's the one movie reserved especially for Christmas day. One of my least favorite movies has always been 'The Grinch.' Of course Jim Carrey made it tolerable for me, so we still watch it. I'm sure you've all heard the story a million times. The Grinch hates the sound of the whos celebrating Christmas, so he attempts to stop it from coming. He dresses up as santa, then goes down into everyone's house and steals all evidence of Christmas. Decorations, presents, even their trees! Then he goes back up to his hidey hole, super satisfied with himself. That is, u...

These past few months in my life have been strange to say the least. I have felt God leading me in places that have required complete trust in Him. I had been living in a way that doesn't require much faith. I had pushed God to the sidelines. My thoughts were simply, I will tag Him in when I need Him. I hadn't been giving Him my everything. I had been holding onto all of it, because it's all mine to bear. Recently I was walking down the hallway and saw Arilyn trying to pick up her scooter. It was too heavy. Without thinking twice, Arilyn looked up at her big brother and said "here Tahcowa, you carry this. It's too heavy for me, but you're strong." In that moment I wanted to be like my daughter. I wanted to look up at God and say "Here, this is all too heavy for me, but you're strong." I have been praying for Him to make my desire His desires. I have been asking the Holy Spirit to lead me. I know that the plans He has for my life, are infinite...

Today my daughter turns 4 years old. I can't even believe I can say those words. I think every woman wants a daughter. Our heart aches for a little girl. I remember during our ultrasound, when the woman told us "it's a girl." I remember the joy that I felt. God had finally given me a daughter. Fast forward to now. Arilyn Grace is this tiny little lady. She loves dresses and baby dolls. She's sweet and kind. She's goofy and friendly. She's the most beautiful little girl I know. Raising a daughter is very much like raising yourself. You think of all the things you want to teach her, all the things you wish you knew. One day I was walking through hobby lobby, which most of you know, I basically keep in business. I was looking for some signs to hang in Arilyn's bedroom. I had previously bought her one that said "child of God" and "beautiful girl, you can do amazing things." I was looking for something else to put on her empty wall. At...