Jessi's Faith Journey

It's Christmas time again. Christmas is my favorite time of year. We celebrate the coming of our King and savior, Jesus Christ. We spend time with all of our family together, we bake things, sing songs, do advent, and the list goes on. One of my favorite things to do with my family around Christmas, is watch Christmas movies. Of course, my favorite Christmas movie is 'It's a Wonderful Life.' It's the one movie reserved especially for Christmas day. One of my least favorite movies has always been 'The Grinch.' Of course Jim Carrey made it tolerable for me, so we still watch it. I'm sure you've all heard the story a million times. The Grinch hates the sound of the whos celebrating Christmas, so he attempts to stop it from coming. He dresses up as santa, then goes down into everyone's house and steals all evidence of Christmas. Decorations, presents, even their trees! Then he goes back up to his hidey hole, super satisfied with himself. That is, u...

These past few months in my life have been strange to say the least. I have felt God leading me in places that have required complete trust in Him. I had been living in a way that doesn't require much faith. I had pushed God to the sidelines. My thoughts were simply, I will tag Him in when I need Him. I hadn't been giving Him my everything. I had been holding onto all of it, because it's all mine to bear. Recently I was walking down the hallway and saw Arilyn trying to pick up her scooter. It was too heavy. Without thinking twice, Arilyn looked up at her big brother and said "here Tahcowa, you carry this. It's too heavy for me, but you're strong." In that moment I wanted to be like my daughter. I wanted to look up at God and say "Here, this is all too heavy for me, but you're strong." I have been praying for Him to make my desire His desires. I have been asking the Holy Spirit to lead me. I know that the plans He has for my life, are infinite...

Today my daughter turns 4 years old. I can't even believe I can say those words. I think every woman wants a daughter. Our heart aches for a little girl. I remember during our ultrasound, when the woman told us "it's a girl." I remember the joy that I felt. God had finally given me a daughter. Fast forward to now. Arilyn Grace is this tiny little lady. She loves dresses and baby dolls. She's sweet and kind. She's goofy and friendly. She's the most beautiful little girl I know. Raising a daughter is very much like raising yourself. You think of all the things you want to teach her, all the things you wish you knew. One day I was walking through hobby lobby, which most of you know, I basically keep in business. I was looking for some signs to hang in Arilyn's bedroom. I had previously bought her one that said "child of God" and "beautiful girl, you can do amazing things." I was looking for something else to put on her empty wall. At...

Some people may be aware, but Steven Furtick is the pastor my brother Kevin,  was listening to, when he finally gave his life to God. Clearly that made Furtick a very special person to him. Kevin has wanted to see him preach in person for as long as he's been a Christian. Pastor Furtick came to Ohio a few months ago to preach at a megachurch. Kevin found out about it the next day. He was very disappointed. Nevertheless he was planning a trip down to North Carolina to see Furtick at his home church. He had everything set in place. Planned out all the things needed. I agreed to go months in advance, but was definitely having second thoughts when the time came to drive states away. The day before we were supposed to leave, I get a call. Kevin was devastated. For whatever reason, his paycheck was short. Short the amount he needed for gas, food, and hotel expense. The trip was off. I remember something I saw in a movie once and explained it to Kevin. Sometimes we do...

God has been showing me so much lately, regarding His church.  We typically go to church to get something, not to give something. We pick things out of the service that bother us. Maybe we didn't like the way the pastor said something. Maybe the songs didn't move us. Childcare wasn't running smoothly. The people aren't as dressed up as we expect them to be. More and more I wonder, is this what church is supposed to look like? Where we are more worried about child check in, than worshipping with our own kids? Where we are first with an opinion, but definitely not the first to volunteer? What if we came to serve? To be conduits, instead of always consuming. What if we realized that people fell on their faces in awe of our God, and we barely mouth words to the songs, not even recognizing the majesty of our creator. I see people church shopping on facebook about once a week. They list what they're looking for. Good nursery, how's the praise and...

I was recently at a friend's house. I would like to start this by saying she's a wonderful God fearing Christian and this is not meant to say otherwise. It's a nice country house with beautiful things, including a Faberge egg, which I still don't understand the point of. Among all of these things, in the corner, she had a cabinet with a little figurine of Jesus on top. It was the only sign in the whole house that suggested she was a Jesus follower. I instantly felt the spirit say "Don't put Jesus in the corner of your life." Too often Jesus is just a facet of who we are. He isn't allowed to infiltrate every single aspect of our lives. Stay where we put you, Lord. You can have this one part of my heart, this one part of my life. We like to use Jesus when it suits us. When we need to feel better about ourselves, or even to make people think about us in a certain way. This happens often in churches. We walk in, sing to our God, listen to a sermon, and t...

I watched the Ten Commandments movie the other day with the kids. You know, the 1956 film with Charlton Heston, and the worst special effects my boys claim they've ever seen. In the movie, I noticed a lot of differences from the account in Exodus. Of course when I was a kid and watched the movie, this was the story of Moses. He was a military commander who had a chance to be Pharaoh. He was a hero in love with a woman. None of which is actually in the bible. I went back and looked because I couldn't believe the differences. There are a ton. They didn't even have all of the plagues in the movie! Of course it is  Hollywood, so there is bound to be some dramatization. Movies and books differ all the time. This is exactly why I will always argue that the book is better. We compare a lot of things. Lately God has been speaking to me a lot about making comparisons. We compare ourselves to others. The things we have, our behaviors, decisions. We compare where we are ...