Jessi's Faith Journey

I hope someday that this blog is read by my children, and I do try to keep them in mind when I write them. I want them to know all that God is teaching me. I think sometimes when we write important stuff, we surround a point with a bunch of useless words. This was put on my heart and I'm going to keep this one simple. Love is a choice. Hate is a choice. Joy is a choice. Anger is a choice. What you choose, is what you will become. Choose love. Choose joy. Over and over again. Choose Jesus. Over and over again.

To tell this story, I would need to back up to Christmas 2017. I was still going to my previous church then, and had really felt God pulling me to help out with Angel Tree. Angel tree was an outreach that helped kids get gifts for Christmas. This program didn't need me at all. They had plenty of volunteers. Nonetheless I felt God pushing me to ask. I reached out to the coordinator and asked to be involved with all of it. She gave me some lists with names and I made some calls. I remember talking to a woman who told me all about her brother's story. See it was her nephew that was to receive a gift. It could have been my brother's story. It really touched my heart. I thought God must have wanted me to see the need in a new way. I reached out to the coordinator and let her know I really wanted to do every part of the angel tree. I won't go into details except to say that I didn't get to be a part of anything else that involved angel tree because I didn't live clos...

It's Christmas time again. Christmas is my favorite time of year. We celebrate the coming of our King and savior, Jesus Christ. We spend time with all of our family together, we bake things, sing songs, do advent, and the list goes on. One of my favorite things to do with my family around Christmas, is watch Christmas movies. Of course, my favorite Christmas movie is 'It's a Wonderful Life.' It's the one movie reserved especially for Christmas day. One of my least favorite movies has always been 'The Grinch.' Of course Jim Carrey made it tolerable for me, so we still watch it. I'm sure you've all heard the story a million times. The Grinch hates the sound of the whos celebrating Christmas, so he attempts to stop it from coming. He dresses up as santa, then goes down into everyone's house and steals all evidence of Christmas. Decorations, presents, even their trees! Then he goes back up to his hidey hole, super satisfied with himself. That is, u...

These past few months in my life have been strange to say the least. I have felt God leading me in places that have required complete trust in Him. I had been living in a way that doesn't require much faith. I had pushed God to the sidelines. My thoughts were simply, I will tag Him in when I need Him. I hadn't been giving Him my everything. I had been holding onto all of it, because it's all mine to bear. Recently I was walking down the hallway and saw Arilyn trying to pick up her scooter. It was too heavy. Without thinking twice, Arilyn looked up at her big brother and said "here Tahcowa, you carry this. It's too heavy for me, but you're strong." In that moment I wanted to be like my daughter. I wanted to look up at God and say "Here, this is all too heavy for me, but you're strong." I have been praying for Him to make my desire His desires. I have been asking the Holy Spirit to lead me. I know that the plans He has for my life, are infinite...

Today my daughter turns 4 years old. I can't even believe I can say those words. I think every woman wants a daughter. Our heart aches for a little girl. I remember during our ultrasound, when the woman told us "it's a girl." I remember the joy that I felt. God had finally given me a daughter. Fast forward to now. Arilyn Grace is this tiny little lady. She loves dresses and baby dolls. She's sweet and kind. She's goofy and friendly. She's the most beautiful little girl I know. Raising a daughter is very much like raising yourself. You think of all the things you want to teach her, all the things you wish you knew. One day I was walking through hobby lobby, which most of you know, I basically keep in business. I was looking for some signs to hang in Arilyn's bedroom. I had previously bought her one that said "child of God" and "beautiful girl, you can do amazing things." I was looking for something else to put on her empty wall. At...

Some people may be aware, but Steven Furtick is the pastor my brother Kevin,  was listening to, when he finally gave his life to God. Clearly that made Furtick a very special person to him. Kevin has wanted to see him preach in person for as long as he's been a Christian. Pastor Furtick came to Ohio a few months ago to preach at a megachurch. Kevin found out about it the next day. He was very disappointed. Nevertheless he was planning a trip down to North Carolina to see Furtick at his home church. He had everything set in place. Planned out all the things needed. I agreed to go months in advance, but was definitely having second thoughts when the time came to drive states away. The day before we were supposed to leave, I get a call. Kevin was devastated. For whatever reason, his paycheck was short. Short the amount he needed for gas, food, and hotel expense. The trip was off. I remember something I saw in a movie once and explained it to Kevin. Sometimes we do...

God has been showing me so much lately, regarding His church.  We typically go to church to get something, not to give something. We pick things out of the service that bother us. Maybe we didn't like the way the pastor said something. Maybe the songs didn't move us. Childcare wasn't running smoothly. The people aren't as dressed up as we expect them to be. More and more I wonder, is this what church is supposed to look like? Where we are more worried about child check in, than worshipping with our own kids? Where we are first with an opinion, but definitely not the first to volunteer? What if we came to serve? To be conduits, instead of always consuming. What if we realized that people fell on their faces in awe of our God, and we barely mouth words to the songs, not even recognizing the majesty of our creator. I see people church shopping on facebook about once a week. They list what they're looking for. Good nursery, how's the praise and...